Oh Joy Sex Toy is a weekly comics series that graphically explores sex and sexuality. This week, guest artist Abby Howard gives us the rundown on some BDSM basics.
Read a bunch more Oh Joy Sex Toy comics, including one about consent.
Want more from Erika Moen? Oh Joy, Sex Toy: Volume One is 268 pages of sex tips, interviews, sex toy reviews, and more! Get your copy at BitchMart.
Here is a text transcription of the comic to make it more accessible for people using screen readers. Transcription by Morgan Kelly.
Erika introduces this comic excitedly, “My Dearest Perverts! As promised last week, today we have Abby Howard in to share the basics of BDSM safety! Enjoy! And be safe!”
Abby Howard begins, “Heya folks, I’m Abby Howard and I’m here to talk to you about BDSM SAFETY! With the help of my hot assistant, Fictional Vampire Boyfriend.” Fictional Vampire Boyfriend interrupts, “But Abby! I already have a safe word. Geez, what else do I even need?” Abby replies, “A lot, dingus!”
Abby and Fictional Vampire Boyfriend are seated at a café as she says, “Safety starts when you decide to meet with a potential partner – always meet them in a public place!! Even if you’ve been talking for months, or have met each other before, meet in a public place! Even if your fantasy is having a stranger break in and do kinky stuff to you, meet in a public plaaace. But don’t worry, once you’ve determined that the person is a-okay, you can schedule as many sexy break-ins as your loins desire!”
Abby continues, “When in public, you can ensure that an actual conversation can happen. This is when you talk about shared preferences and lay down your rules – definite yesses, definite no’s, and definite hmmm maybes. As a sub, I know there is a desire to do whatever the Dom wants – it’s a big part of the fun! But if something really turns you off or makes uncomfortable, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO IT!”
Abby explains, “The Sub is really the person who has the power in a scene, and can stop it whenever they want by using a safe word! Now for a safe word you could use a silly word like “obfuscate” or “gorgosaurus,” but I tend to find the “red, yellow, green” safe words much more useful. Green means “Heck yes, go ahead with this sexy thing.” Yellow means, “Please ease up and stop this thing.” And red means “Stop everything right now!” I suggest trying out yellow or red early on in your first scene with a partner, to establish trust!”
Abby and Fictional Vampire Boyfriend are now at home and are undressed. Fictional Vampire Boyfriend holds a spatula and says, “Let’s see how this feels!” With a whap, Abby’s eyes get large and she says with a smile, “Green.”
Abby continues, “When the actual play begins, a Dom should check in sometimes to see if the Sub is still doing okay! As with any sexy thing, both partners should be enjoying themselves, and a Sub can sometimes panic and forget to use safe words… So every so often, ask and make sure they are still having a fun and sexy time!” Abby is now seated on the floor, Fictional Vampire Boyfriend asks her, “How you holdin’ up down there?” Abby says, “Honestly, my nips are ‘bout to fall off, I’m calling’ yellow!” They remove the clothespins from her nipples, “Is that better?” She replies, “Yes, my nips will live another day.”
Abby continues, “Safety tips for during play: Do not leave the Sub alone for an extended period of time! Especially if they are bound. Make sure that any bondage you use does not cut off circulation! Test by slipping two fingers between the bonds and the skin. If you have a more dangerous kink, like breath play or blood play, do your research to make sure you’re doing your freaky kinky stuff safely! FetLife has some kink-specific groups that could be of help to novices!”
Abby and Fictional Vampire Boyfriend are cuddled on a sofa, “When the playing is over, it’s time for some aftercare! Do not skip this. You have just put this human through heck, pat them on the head and hug them and give them a towel. Make sure you’re both hydrated. Aftercare helps both the Sub and Dom calm down and get back into a functional headspace! Also, it can be extremely intimate and romantic.”
Abby concludes this comic by saying, “So folks, I hope you learned something today, and keep in mind that this is a very basic guide! If you have further questions, check out FetLife groups, or your local kink community! Have fuuuunn!”
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